Wow…race day nerves…and I’m not even racing. Maybe that’s how you know you’ve outgrown something, when you no longer get nervous about it; when you don’t get butterflies on the start line, when she walks in the room. If that’s true, then I know two things. First, I know that I’m still very much in love with her. When she knocks on my door, even though I'm expecting her I still get a little twinge of excitement. Second, I know that, for the moment at least, I’ve outgrown skiing. When I look at my skis, I don’t get excited; when I smell wax remover I only get light-headed.
As for this writing thing? Well, it’s after midnight and I’m sitting at my desk, mind on overdrive, writing something no one is likely to read unless I get the nerve to post it in the morning. I’m nervous about writing tomorrow and so I’m writing tonight. It’s always been a nervous habit of mine, writing. How many pre-race plans did I scribble over the years, how many letters to Sara that I never got the nerve to send? This growing up business is tough, and at 23 I’m only just getting started.
Tomorrow will be good. Once the clock starts, and I’m committed there won’t be time for all this thinking, just acting. Hmm, did that last line come from a ski racer or a writer? Maybe both? We’ll find out eventually.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment